Monster Drama

“Do you know what I like best about myself?” she asked cheerfully with her back turned to me, cramming the remains of a third toddler up under her mask and down her gullet, slurping its little leg down like a wet spaghetti noodle, “It’s how I don’t eat children.”

She giggled as she practically skipped over to me, her hulking 9’11” frame covered in coarse black fur silhouetted against the single orange, dim lightbulb in our apartment, like the stuff of nightmares. She plopped lackidasically onto the couch beside me, which rattled and shook the floor as though we were going to go crashing through it. “You know what else I like best about me?” she asked, her smile beaming through her words, Continue reading

It Could Have Happened: 1

“So I was walking down the street yesterday, and up ahead I see Rob biking toward me. ┬áHe had a helmet on, but he was also wearing elbow, knee, and hand-guards like he’s about to jump off his bike and go rollerblading or something.

I kinda’ chuckled to myself, and I waved to him, and he waved back– but just as he did, this old-timey-lookin’ truck rolls up behind him, Continue reading