It’s funny how things can come together so suddenly.
You spend your entire life watching and waiting for something better– you search, you try, you fail, you try again, you repeat the cycle so many times you feel like your eyes are going to bleed out of your head– and maybe one day, you give up.
I gave up. Sorta’.
Maybe I just half-assed everything. I even half-assed giving up.
Then one day, seemingly, the solutions to everything fell out of the sky and landed in my lap– but they weren’t easy solutions, and they weren’t without their own challenges and hardships.
From what I’ve learned, it seems like that’s how it happens most of the time– the solutions come, but never easily; or at least, almost never.
The unifying theme seems to be that there’s always consequences. You can chase your dreams, but you have to make sacrifices.
One thing I’ve been told from multiple sources, is that you have to want it more than anything. You have to want success like a drowning man wants that next breath of fresh air.
I don’t feel that I’ve connected with that feeling on a visceral level– I’ve done my best to try to understand it cognitively so that I never allowed myself to get to the place where I’d be forced to understand it viscerally.
Sometimes I think it would be better if I had– but I still do my best to avoid it. Regardless, I’ve now pledged myself to a situation in which I’m certain I will have to act as the drowning man– but I intend to swim as long as I can before I’m so exhausted that I sink beneath the waves.
I want every breath of fresh air.